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Date   Background
23-DEC-1998 : The TOGS have been voting for their Male and Female "Top 10 Totty". Helmut voted for Lilo Wanders in both categories...but (s)he didn't make the chart......he is outraged..

 

21-DEC-1998 : Terry's other listener is voting fior the "Top 50 Toggy Tunes", Pauly insists Floral Dance will NOT be played....

 

18-DEC-1998 : Helmut loves Christmas songs...but please don't translate them into German
16-DEC-1998 : Delia Smith's latest series has just finished...but where were the Deutsche dishes?

 

15-DEC-1998 : Jokes have been a bit light on "Schlafen Nicht mit Wogan"...Helmut has some Superior German sugegstions (again!)

 

11-DEC-1998 : Christmas approaching only means one thing....yes its BBC Sports Personality of the Year...Helmut has some suggests that have made his year more enjoyable....

 

04-DEC-1998 : Lilo Wanders is going on Holiday...can Boggy step in ?
03-DEC-1998 : Boggy complains that his roof is leaking again. Helmut suggest a better use for the Turner prize.

 

02-DEC-1998 : The Turner has been won by a painting done in Elephant do-doo. Helmuts suggests a hanging in Boggy's shed....

 

01-DEC-1998 : Terry needs a catchphrase....Helmut has some typically direct suggestions
30-NOV-1998 : Oh dear..."Big Panty Woman" has charted....Helmut is outraged...Pauly would never play this....would he??? 

The demise of German tennis leads Helmut to inquire about "Timmy's" passport status.

 

25-NOV-1998 : Ainsley Harriet has done a "Full Monty" on "Children in Need"....the other listener has accused Terry of being "Portly".......

 

13-NOV-1998 : Boggy's shed is leaking. Fear not Helmut and the German Professor Zwei-shed fan club to the rescue.

 

03-NOV-1998 : Helmut does suffer when Terry is away. He has just had to endure a week of Sarah Kennedy playing "Big Panty Woman".

 

14-OCT-1998 : Helmut sees "Animal Hospital" for the very first time...and tells a very old joke.
09-OCT-1998 : It's National Poetry week. Helmut doesn't think much of English poetry...he has a bash himself...his object of affection? Die Schonste Fraulein Godfrey of course....

 

05-OCT-1998 : Hayley has just joined Coronation Street.  Helmut is confused. Roy throws beer at Mike Baldwin...why?

 

29-SEP-1998 : Chancellor Schroeder has just been elected. Helmut is confused....the only Schroeder he knows is the Peanuts Piano Playing character.

 

23-SEP-1998 : Radio 2 listeners are being asked to vote for their favourite programmes. Helmut is outraged (as usual) and offers his very own suggestions.
14-SEP-1998 : Oh dear..it's Commonwealth games time and Helmut is amazed at the ridiculous sports included..he proposes a question for "Who wants to be a Millionaire" (it's just hit our screens)

 

10-SEP-1998 : Terry's Pips are crashing all over the place. A Superior German Solution is offered......Paul Gascoigne is recalled to the England Squad
07-SEP-1998 : Terry has been on holiday (again). Helmut wonders where he has been......England lose another football match

 

04-AUG-1998 "Ground Force"? The English are always digging things up...gardens, allotments...... the M25 

 

02-AUG-1998 10 Things not to say on a birthday...

 

29-JUL-1998 Togmeister Birthday approaching....Bus pass?

 

28-JUL-1998 Bring back "Wogan's Web"

 

23-JUL-1998 Helmut's shed is falling down....Boggy has a spare one though

 

21-JUL-1998 The lack of German success at Eurovision is really getting to Helmut...he has studied the form and has the answer...Lilo Wanders

 

20-JUL-1998 British Open...where is Bernard? Why does Mr Faldo eat all those Banannas and is that really Grandpa Walton caddying for Tiger?

 

16-JUL-1998 "Beautiful Night" by Paul McCartney...but why does Doktor Pauly always cut it short ?

 

14-JUL-1998 What an honour! A privilege. Helmut has received a personal invite for a Champagne reception from Michael Aspel at a well know furniture store...but what does DFS stand for?

 

13-JUL-1998 Attention shifts to the British Grand Prix...it's wet...Schumacher wins (again).

 

08-JUL-1998 It IS Donald Pleasance in goal........and he is not French...."foul" cries Helmut

 

07-JUL-1998 : Are the Dutch really wearing football shirts with shoulder pads? It's Dynasty all over again....

 

06-JUL-1998 It's over....Germany are out....

 

02-JUL-1998 It's Wimbledon...but it's not football..but Germany have yet to play Croatia

 

01-JUL-1998 England play Argentina...Helmut wants to repatriate Michael Owen....as a German!!!!

 

29-JUN-1998 Germany beat Mexio and its another 1/4 final appearance....

 

28-JUN-1998 So England beat Colombia after all (2-0)....just watch the Germans though...

 

25-JUN-1998 : It's the 1998 World Cup....Helmut is coming into his own....who is that stupid England Trumpet player...and the French goalie looks like Donald Pleasance

 

16-MAR-1998 : Helmut complains that Tommy Cooper isn't funny

 

11-FEB-1998 : Here it is...Helmut Wirklichnahmen's first ever contact