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What Brings People Here?? 

July  2003

    Last Month  
#1 (2) black wonderful life
#2 (3) henry mcgee
#3 (4) thai yellow curry
#4 (-) yellow curry
#5 (7) kay burley
#6 (5) mushroom stroganoff
#7 (-) cottage pie
#8 (8) robert plant pictures
#9 (9) vegetable lasagne
#10 (-) deutsche madchen



Black... celebrating his return to the top of the Bemuddlement Top Ten... yesterday. Note lack of Candy Floss (already eaten)

Kolin Twang has been reported as being 'ecstatic' at his return to his rightful #1 spot in the Bemuddlement Top Ten. So much so that he was, allegedly, spotted on the giant slide at Clacton Pier enjoying "3 slides for 1.50" and a Candy Floss. Ironic indeed, as Kolin has staved off a whole onslaught of food dishes this month to maintain his position. Mushroom Stroganoff, Cottage pie, Vegetable Lasagne and The Yellow Curries, all pressurising Kolin at the top.


And a welcome return this month at #10 for those gorgeous "Deutsche Madchen", maybe it was the heat in July that  brought hoards of hungry, bemuddled fans to the site, in search of some Teutonic beauties. Well we here at bemuddlement do like to disappoint, so we contacted Helga Krankenhausewagen and Lise Hochgeschwindikeit to see if they wouldn't mind posing in some 30's style sports apparel whilst manipulating two large balls (medicine). After some tricky and embarrassing translation moments, invariably involving Bemuddlement's very own Helmut Wirklichnahmen, they agreed. Helmut can now be contacted at

Herr H Wirklichnahmen
c/o Heike Dreschler Tribute Hospital
Ward Stalag 14B

Tragic co joined twins Helga und Lisa,   manipulating some medicine balls... yesterday


Like last month, The Queen of Sky News, Kay Burley, has advanced two places from #7 to #5. At this rate, she should be displacing Kolin Twang at #1 by the end of September, facing stiff opposition from Henry McGee. Those of you who wish to vote for Kay, can do so via your Sky Digital remote... just press the red button and access "Vote" on the menu screen and in the section "Today's Unbiased Question: We really, really like Kay Burley. Should she be Bemuddlement's #1?" simply press yes or no... (no option disabled).

No wonder Kay looks happy, another advance of two places up the bemuddlement Top ten this month, to #5. A signed photo will guarantee #1 Kay ;-).


And look who is at #2, why its evergreen Bemuddlement favourite Henry McGee!!! Of course, Henry is no Stranger to Top Ten's, having spent 17 weeks in the UK charts in 1971 as "Two Ton Ted from Teddington" with Benny Hill's "Ernie, The Fastest Milkman in the West". Will he make it to #1 we ask? Who knows, Kolin Twang is still holding fast and lucky old Henry has Kay Burley breathing own his neck too.

A youthful Henry McGee, displaying his fine admiration for the Royal Navy... not yesterday.