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A Bad Day Out




Registration is at Nine and we start at Nine Thirty

I Load up with Sticky Danish and Coffee 'cos I'm Thirsty

Its a day away from work, in a Hotel Nearby

It's a day full of presentations and that time is not going to fly


First up is the MD, with his laptop under his arm

He try's some witty banter, to try and win us over with his charm

He hooks up the projector to his mobile PC

Surprise, Surprise, its not working, a Blue Screen is all we see


A nerd in row three jumps straight to his feet

The rest of us fidget and sneer in our seats

"Just toggle Alt F5" he then will creepily advise

The screen bursts to life and the rest of us...just sigh


Slide after slide is presented to us

But try to stay awake, we really all must

It really is the most dreadful thing I ever have seen

I'm going to scream if I see another MS Screenbean


It's now eleven fifteen, its the mid morning break

The exodus to the coffee room is like an earthquake

"Now just ten minutes for coffee, that should be plenty"

But enthusiasm wanes already, that ten became twenty"


Next up is the techy with his new network plan

A jolly intelligent chap a very clever man

As the handouts are given to us I wish I'd stayed in bed

It's almost unintelligible and goes straight over my head


"Any questions now", the techy then asks

"Any flaws in my plans, have we covered all the tasks"

But everyone is hungry and we all applaud his super show

You see Lunch should have started at least ten minutes ago


Its a sit down lunch in a buffet bar, "....hmm that's nice"

Main courses are Pasta or Vegi Chilli with pilau rice

I think I'll try and have lunch with that blond from HR

I end up with the "Dull man from Sussex" the local bore about cars 


Forty Five Mins later now, the coffee arrives

We should go back to the conference room, for one twenty five

One cup becomes two and the MD is getting haughty

We straggle back to the meeting room..its now one forty


The next guy who's up, try's to give us a lift

Its going to be tough for him, as this is the graveyard shift

Full of food and cheap caffeine and to be honest he is a creep

I didn't feel least bit guilty about falling asleep


Two more presentations later and a mineral water bottle

Each presenter I get more fed up with and them I  want to throttle

The time is going backwards now and the "self talk" starts to rise

I think of what's for dinner. Can I get away with that month old pie?


And so three hours later we complete this seminar

"Everyone travel safely home now...and go careful in your cars"

We all sprint for the exit to get out of this joint

This really has been a mental death by MS-Powerpoint