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Mushroom Stroganoff (with Rice)

Dish Tesco's Mushroom Stroganoff Rice
What is It ? Mushrooms in a rich Madeira Wine Sauce with Basmati Rice

Fig 1

Trust's better than it looks. The bemuddlement Chefs performed wonders on this one.



Where to find it Very tricky, requires major expeditionary exercise to Tesco's and then a tricky Aisle mechanism. This particular specimen was found in the Vegetarian section, although we feel it may have migrated from aisle 14 to 28, due to a disgruntled hunter finding some rather tasty smoked tofu pieces.
Likelyhood of finding Exceptionally rare. Tesco's are generally situated in inaccessible outer regions of suburban housing estates. Vegetarian food is scattered throughout in the store. be prepared to scan all chill cabinets. This particular specimen was captured at 1pm on a expedition for more filter coffee for a particularly heavy caffeine consumption meeting. It was lovingly kept in a works supplied refrigeration unit, that hasn't been sanitised for at least 12 years..... 4 rare breeds of bacteria were found in the refrigerator perma-frost (which have since proved that life can exist on Mars). Other items in that environment consisted of  an 18 month old carton of Long Life orange juice and salvaged cans of Tango from an unwanted business lunch. 


Complimentaries We decided to go for Sainbury's Extra Strong Garlic the use by date was six days ago.

Fig 2

Warning.....for die hard Garlic specialists only. After consumption allow at least 4 days before any social contact.  



Wine An uncompromising ultra-chilled white that was left over from the Garlic Mushrooms.
Preparation Notes

Simplicity.....standard 200 degs c for 20 mins, slamming Garlic Bread in at T-plus 5 minutes

  • Mushroom Stroganoff 550 Calories
  • Garlic Bread Approx 300
  • Wine...who cares...

Beware...a real kcal fest if your not careful.

Serving Suggestion Rice to the side, or Vesta Curry 'edge style'. Bemuddlement plumped for the latter.
Ideal Viewing/Listening An unusual dish requires unusual audio/visual accompaniment. Bemuddlement recommends the superb DVD edition of Talking Heads live epic "Stop Making Sense"....lovingly recreated by a team of Swiss-Nippon digital meister-crafters in a dust-free engineering environment just outside Zurich. David Byrne's suit never looked so crisp.

Fig 3

What do you mean it looked better raw???? "Bon Appetit"...(allegedly).