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Duetto Quorn Pasta Bemuddlement Style

Dish What?

Duetto Quorn Pasta Bemuddlement Style

Bemuddlement Style? You mean, like actual cooking?

Well almost



To This in less than 20mins

Fig 1

Your mission....should you choose to accept it.


What is It ? Pasta...two types

Type 1 : Sun ripened tomatoes infused with Garlic and Herbs, wrapped in tomatoe pasta

Type 2: Soft Mascarpone Ricotta and Parmesan  Cheese, wrapped in Egg Pasta

Quorn Pieces delicately fried in Sunflower Oil, all served in a delicious Tomatoe and Chilli sauce (see Fig 2)



Fig 2

A jar of Pureed Lloyd Grossman? Fear not, remember Bemuddlement is strictly Vegetarian. 



Where to find it
  • Chill Cabinet "Quorn" section.
  • Chill Cabinet "Pasta Section"
  • Big pile of sauce jars...various locations..usually next to the freeze dried Popadoms
Likelyhood of finding This is not a case of hunting and gathering, its a case of careful planning and only the most dedicated of sad meal shoppers should attempt to gather these fine ingredients. Please avoid if you have sat in a 7hr M$-Powerpoint 'Death by Viewgraph' meeting all day.


Complimentaries Bemuddlement recommends a whole loaf of Sainbury's Garlic bread.....extra strength...especially if you have a pointless appraisal the next day, with well meaning boss who has difficulty remembering your name.


Wine Are you serious? After cooking this lot (sorry I used the "C" word there), you will need it. Bemuddlement recommends two bottles of fine Italian Chardonnay that have been placed in the freezer for quick chilling.
Preparation Notes The most complicated of Bemuddlement dishes. Pasta has to be perfectly steamed for 10 mins. Quorn is fried for 8 mins. Sauce is mildly heated for 3mins AFTER the Quorn and Pasta.  Garlic Bread takes the statutory 12 mins at 200 degs. A small GANTT chart showing key milestones and target end times will be made available soon to ensure the whole preparation time climaxes simultaneously. 

Do NOT attempt anything else other than cooking during the preparation time. May we recommend the kitchen radio tuned to "Nightime with Whale" on Sportstalk 1089AM to get you through the traumatic experience of operating a cooking hob.


Fig 3

Bemuddlement Scientists worked slavishly around the clock to determine the correct method of operating this strange device in the kitchen. After 6 days they determined that the bizarre dark vessels are called "saucepans" and that the "device" is a gas oven hob. They failed to identify the ritual  challis, seen here in the top left hand corner. 



Calories Not as many as you would think. Quorn, as well as being an excellent substitute for window putty, is very low in fat and Lloyd Grossman is a fit lad, low in cholesterol. 
Serving Suggestion Duetto Quorn Pasta (Bemuddlement Style) is a work of art and as such should be presented as such. Only the finest cutlery and porcelain china should be used.  Save that, just grab the plate from the draining board that wasn't put away last night.


Ideal Viewing/Listening Classical Italian Baroque music and eaten by the PC linked into the Lourve Website (may we suggest the 17th century Post-Renascence section?). For the more affluent Bemuddlemnt readers may we suggest "Artsworld" on some Skydigi  (somewhere between  that odd 'girly' health channel and E4).

If it's a Sunday night, why not enjoy the wonderful tones of David Jabobs on Radio 2? You know it makes sense.